so .. everyone has their own weaknesses

Hello again all! I am so excited and actually is specially assigning my free time today to write something I have been thinking and feeling. Today I was wearing a navy themed office outfit  *not so much*. Lately I have been obsessing navy colors since I saw one of my friends looking good trying on a navy colored pencil skirt at Ann Taylor. So I got this sweater and pants from G2000 a career outfit store back in Indonesia, and I got my blazer from a brand called stradivarius back in Indonesia as well. Leopard ankle boots which is super duper comfy was a gift from my brother, and he got it in Forever 21 in Minneapolis last spring. 

I am inspired by the navy look, combining anchors, blazers and jackets, gold buttons, and super duper awesome red color! 

Anyhow. Let's get to my topic today... weakness. I read an article lately about Generation Y. Which I believe I am included in the group. I am that person that always think I exist in a story, and I am the main character here. dudes,,,, I rule! I always think I'm the best, the most important. bla bla bla.. OK? BUT.. I realize that... I am wrong and I have a big big flaw ladies and gents.. booo boooooo~~

Coming to the US four years ago, and trying to adjust to the people here was not easy. My first roommate was from Saudi Arabia, and it was a culture shock already (No worries, now she is my best friend!!). Yes, Indonesia is a muslim country, and many people who heard I am from Indonesia think that I am muslim. But, actually I was born in a Chinese family, - fm. in Indonesia. With all the extreme actions Islamic front do in Indonesia, all sorts of -not so much but yea kinda discrimination towards people like me. Growing up, I have been taught and told the muslim are NG. But what happened to me? I am so thankful that my roommate was a muslim, because I learned a life lesson that not all muslim are bad.. wait wait let me reword that! I won't identify bad or good based on one's religion. I'd rather say each person whatever they are can be bad. Even the slanted eyes geeky Chinese like me can be bad. (jk!!). I am grateful that I meet many friends from all over the world. 

And also I used to look at Malaysians and be like -ugh malingsias... But I graduated bringing many Malaysians friends and they are one of the closest friends I have in UNI. It's like I come to their houses all the time when I am having a hard time and when I want to have fun. They are NOT like what the E world and news told me. 

One hardship-weakness I have.. up until now. I have hardship making friends with Americans and Elder people (people older than me for a significant amount of years). I grow up knowing the American dreams, feel so amazed with the Uncle Sam countries. I kept hearing many good things about this country, the people. It builds up onto an image of superiority. Every time I meet an American born person, I would be so shy and so my English will be like a C- grade. Just like my uncle and aunt always make fun of me.. "hi my name is catherine (with a shy voice). It's so annoying, because in the International orientation I am that kind of people that will be outgoing and be asking people who is their names and where they are from. I graduated from college with really little amount of American friends. I feel really grateful for those who approached me and wanted to start a conversation with me, because most of the time.. I won't start it. I feel really little and incapable, I feel small and worse. It is in my mind that I have been trying to control, but I have been failing. I feel indeed jealous for those who can hang out with anyone easily.. I tried to join a group that has a lot of American students, but I still could not break from my weakness. But I think it is something worth practicing... My uncle is actually American. I used to be shy to him, but now I treat him like nothing. hahaha just kidding Jel. he is so gonna say, "I am the superior you are talking about!". 

So the point is, this is my weakness... as much as I think I am perfect (wahaha. come out again), I still deal with this thoughts, worries, and jealousy. 

And... as much as I don't want this to be curcol (Indonesian slang here), but.. do you have any other suggestions for me?

Thank you for listening to my story in my wonderful blog (so much for gen y). hope to hear from you soon.

bubye. 

xx

catherine