Is it lesson of life? Or is it just Life?

Today actually I am so sad and depressed....
and I'm trying to fight it.
But I don't know whether I will succeed or not..
I think I am too childish
I grew up in a condition when everything I want can be fulfilled
Just now I just realized everything I own, I have and I use.. I lay down on anyone else
it's not mine.

I have to, I must learn how to be independent
To control my heart, control my feeling and logic
I still feel I do everything with my emotion..

Everything I want then it has to be like that in a second.

I know.. I know..
It's really BAD.
But I really don't know HOW? HOW?
How should I get used to it?
I really don't know
Keep on asking myself only tears answering
Even wind can't tell me How can I change it.

I know I am so childish,
everything, no matter how small it is.
I am so greedy.. so naive.. so ego.
And I wish
I hope, I pray. I can change

But when? how?
I don't know.